The more I think about it, the more mid-life it seems to me. You could argue that life is still life when you’re in your 50s (you know, the ages when you start meddling into your kids’ lives and try maneuvering them into getting married and stuff, but essentially, that’s you playing with someone else’s life, not your own). So if you cut down the time line for life into “the part of your life where you are in charge of making your own decision”, then 21 sounds like a good age for a mid-I-currently-run-slash-ruin-my-own-life crisis.
Only this time, everyone was celebrating. Context: We are 2.5 years into our 5 year degree of medicine and surgery. Just saying it in my head, typing it on my laptop makes this phrase feel so heavy. Two and a half years of medicine and surgery, completed. Anyway, my class decided to celebrate the occasion by taking group pictures of the class throughout the week, have a formal dinner party and a class trip to somewhere fun.
Guess who’s not excited.
It’s really funny, when I think about it. The fact that I will have spent five entire years of my life with all of these people, and most of them are still strangers to me. You would think that I would try to change all of that- try to make friends while I still can- but like I’ve said before, I’m asocial and would rather not be in the center of everything.
You’d also think that I would have had a lot of fun in this week, but I’m going to extremely honest with you, my reader, and tell you that this week was miserable for me. There were a lot of external factors (I had a pretty bad fight with a friend, the weather was scorching, I was overall feeling very upset) and then that was coupled with a general sense of isolation, USMLE and me being preoccupied with other things, like starting an Etsy store, fixing my blog etc.
My class, nevertheless, was occupied with celebrating and they decided to spend the entire week color coordinating so that we could take class pictures together in an organized manner. Monday was blue, Tuesday was black, Wednesday was green, Thursday was red and Friday was oriental. I had a bunch of colored scarves so I matched in pretty well (except for Friday. I took the day off).
(( I realized something about pictures though, and that is the fact that I dislike having them taken, especially if the point of the photograph is to put it up as a facebook profile picture or whatever. It puts this pressure on looking nice in the photograph, rather than taking the picture for the memories, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s impossible for me to look good in a camera. I’m just not photogenic- I’m the opposite of photogenic. Or maybe I just look terrible no matter what I do. The point is, the moment people start taking photographs to look good, I feel sick to my core because I can’t ever reach that kind of standard, so I quietly back out. ))
Anyway, the weekend had two events planned out; a formal masquerade party on Saturday and then a trip on Sunday. All of the people I hang out with were going to the party, which meant I had to go or endure two weeks of them pressuring me (one week before the event to try to get me to come and one week after to try to get me to regret it…) so I figured I might as well go. It’s not like I go to a lot of parties in the first place, right?
The party was interesting. The people organizing it put in a lot of effort, there were slideshows and videos that were presented. There was a game of trying to recognize people from their baby pictures, so that was fun. The decor was nice, there were masks everywhere and lots of colorful lights. The tent was air conditioned too so it was pretty comfortable and it even started drizzling lightly. I ended up texting my friend the entire time because that’s just how I am. I find parties uncomfortable. Ironic, isn’t it?
A lot of people celebrated reaching this ‘halftime’ in our degree by calling themselves 50% doctors, which is true, technically, but I like to count my year of house-job into this whole affair too, so it’s 42% for me. Yes, I’m the buzzkill at parties. You’re welcome. Have a nice day.