I Know You Don't Like Me: Concealed Thoughts of an Introvert

I’ve been really tired these days. There’s just so much going on that I can’t help but feel like drawing away from everyone and everything. Sometimes I lash out with a loud “Leave me alone!” but the only person who I said that to is quite thick headed and didn’t really listen to me, choosing to laugh at my outburst instead. Yes, I think that makes me feel tired too, trying to avoid that person as much as I can.

blog post header butterfly edits befunky

Just because I feel overall awful about everything and myself, I decided to write a poem about it. I feel like it’s better to create a piece of writing rather than rant out about things and make it seem like my life is dramatic (it’s really not. I’m just very sensitive and tend to overthink situations a lot). Plus on the upside, if anyone comes across my blog, I don’t want them to see me write negative things specifically about them. (Yes, you’re really annoying by the way, if you’re reading this and you know who you are…)

Which reminds me that my birthday is coming up next month. May 9th to be more exact. I’ll be 21 years old. What an adult. Thinking about it- my birthday and being 21- makes me feel so tired, I could cry. Is this a starting life crisis or has my midlife already started? Anyway, I have currently decided to take the plunge and release my blog. As in, let people know it exists. I won’t shove it in anyone’s face of course, but I’ll put it on my instagram confidently and maybe share the facebook page on my personal profile. So yes, that’s a heads up! I’m going to be throwing my blog out to the sharks.

I Know You Don’t Like Me

I saw it from
the l o o k
on your face
the way you
                      pretended like
if you shouted loud enough
you could drown all the
words and ideas that
I wanted to say, to
share with you
                     and that’s okay 

because I
realized in
that moment
the way you
                    ignored me
you didn’t need to hear what
I had to say because there
are so many voices and
mine was simply not
your preference
                    and that’s okay 

I just want
to let you
know that
you can’t!
                     be offended
when I flip the switch and
decide to take situations
into my own hands-
simply by cutting
the cord, so
                     good bye

It’s the first time I’m writing a poem of this kind of nature. I wanted to create imagery with the words in terms of the structure and format so you can see some sort of rudimentary shapes that I’ve repeated in the three stanzas. Of course, I think it came out alright considering I wrote it on a whim and I would definitely like to try this style out more.

I know some people like to recite poetry, but for me, speaking is a really big issue. I tend to stutter and stammer a lot, I get very nervous and tongue tied very easily. And in the deepest and darkest crevices of my mind, I feel like I have neither a good grip on English nor on Urdu and it upsets me sometimes. Which all comes back to the point that I prefer writing languages down and showing things visually, rather than through voice and audio.

Everyone has their preferences! I would like to give a small shout out to Eve from Edge of Night for being the one who reignited my love for writing poetry, especially after I won a competition she held. I used to write poetry a LOT when I was younger. Like how I’m writing blog posts right now? It used to poems when I was 9 years old.

Do you write poems? What kind of styles have you experimented with and what are your favorites to work with? Have a nice day!

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9 thoughts on “I Know You Don't Like Me: Concealed Thoughts of an Introvert

  1. This is a beautiful poem! And I really do relate about being sensitive, being introverted, and overthinking things. Just yesterday, I spent a good hour worrying about something, until I finally realized that it didn't even need to be worried about.

  2. I think of you as a completely different person. Strong, confident and much more. Overthinking is a disease, though thinking at overthinking and controlling it will make it more severe, let the things flow and keep calm and forgive those people who are annoying. I can understand who that person is. But if someone asks for apology, he should be given a chance and i hope K.A will also read this. And i must say I apologize and seek forgiveness.

  3. Oh, I wasn't thinking of you at all when I wrote that. But nevertheless, thank you for your apology. That's the interesting thing about blogging though, like I said, I'm more comfortable in communicating through writing, so I suppose I come off as more confident through written words rather than spoken words.

  4. Isn't that awful? Especially when you're over thinking about something in the future, like a party or an exam, and you lose a lot of sleep over it, but then it turns out it was nothing to worry about in the first place and you were stressed for no reason >_> Thank you for visiting 😀

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